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Finding Pants In Manhattan

I woke up in my New York hotel at 7:00 am this morning very tired. I didn’t get to sleep until fairly late the night before. I took my camera and a couple of lenses into Times Square to get some classic New York photos. My day didn’t start until 9:30 am so I could sleep in a bit.

After getting cleaned up I went to get dressed. I had flown in on a Sunday night so I was very casual coming in — sandals and shorts. Great to be able to fly in casual clothes. I got up this morning to put on my business attire, black slacks and a dress shirt.

Now, the last few months haven’t been great ones for me in regards to my weight. Let’s just use the excuse that I want to support Tammy in pregnancy. :-) So I’ve got a number of dress slacks that fit me, and I have a number that really do not fit. Well, as I got ready in my hotel room I put on my shirt and stepped into my slacks when sudden horror struck.

I had brought pants that did not fit! To be clear, this wasn’t a matter of just being a little tight. Oh no, these were simply not going to fit in any way, shape or form.

After expressing my frustration with the situation with some colorful language I realized how completely screwed I was. I had flown in wearing shorts and sandals. I had one pair of slacks that did not fit. I had 1 hour and 25 minutes before my meeting started. I seriously would have feigned illness, massive food poisoning or something, before showing up to a business meeting in shorts and sandals.

I shut myself of the horror after about 30 seconds and went into action. I immediately put on my shorts and sandals and headed down to the front desk. The woman there told me that Macy’s opened at 8:00 am and was 8 blocks down Broadway. I ran out, literally, and grabbed a cab. I got to Macy’s, ran to the door and found them locked. They opened at 10! She had the wrong information.

More colorful language at this point as I called back to the hotel. Things were looking very grim. The concierge told me of a place downtown, just 15 minutes on the subway that opened at 8 am. No way I would be able to make that work. I found a crappy clothing store selling super cheap junk but they had nothing that was better than what I was wearing. The concierge called a Banana Republic and they were open. As I prepared to head over there I thought about sizes. After calling them back we found they carry nothing bigger than a 38 which even at the best of times wouldn’t be for me.

I walked back to the hotel. At this point I called Tammy and expressed my despair. Panic was in my voice with only 55 minutes until I had to be at my meeting. I got to the hotel and the concierge worked the phones. Jackpot. She found a store that had the right size and would open early for me! I checked out of the hotel and headed out with luggage in hand and 40 minutes until the meeting.

I got to the store, ran in and grabbed a pair of dockers. Changing rooms were a time luxury I didn’t have. Dropped trou’ right in the store and put on the dockers. Fit! Great! Grabbed a new belt as well and left for my meeting with 25 minutes remaining, and a sense of calm having averted a total disaster.

I called Tammy to let her know the situation was under control and hung my head out of the taxi window like a dog to cool off, all the running around had worked up a sweat. I felt completely like I was in the TV show The Amazing Race. I think it’s time to segment my closet better!

1 Comment

  1. I wonder why Jim Bernard hasn’t commented on this yet?

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